Author: Skik McDervish

Nintendo Sues London Dairy Farm Over Use of Date Placement, Gets Creamed In Court

Mario Drinking Milk

“Milk ’em, boys!” | Ontario, Canada – The dust from a major court battle recently settled, after a timestamp on a shipment of milk was mistaken for officially-sanctioned “Nintendo milk”, initially prompting the video game company into the (legal) attack position until the end of its next turn.

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Discovering Bigfoot While Searching For Big Foot In GTA: San Andreas

Bigfoot sighted

“The moral of the story here is, when you’ve caught a Bigfoot, take a few pictures (and maybe a video) before you decide to go for a walk” | Belgrade, Montana – To this day, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is among the most controversial games in the series.

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Nintendo Has Glorified Vandalism For Decades, Yet We’ve Never Batted An Eye

getting rupees to destroy things

“Destroy things for money? Yeh, that’s how it works” | If Nintendo is well-known for anything, it’s surely that it caters to the casual gamer market with its family-friendly games and gimmicky systems. But despite holding reverence as a company whose products are…

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Bill Gates Teabagged in Halo, Sends An Army to Eradicate Small Town in Croatia

Bill Gates Thumbnail

“git gud cucks” | Silicon Valley – Winning isn’t everything for a lot of people. Some of us might scream and shout at our TVs and computers when we are homing in on victory, only to be shot dead…

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The Lie That Sparked A War Between Kakariko Village and the “Tree Hobbits” of Kokiri Forest

Dead Deku Tree

“Tree Hobbits, eh? Let me get you the number of a great pest control company to take care of that.” | Kakariko Village, Hyrule – It has recently come to light that a blood feud between the residents of Kakariko Village and the peaceful children of the Kokiri Forest arose sometime in 1999, after…

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Osama bin Laden Tested UAV Using PS2, Controllers To Pilot, Claims “It Plays Just Like Ace Combat 5”

Bin Laden Thumbnail

“The only drawback to our setup is the load times, and lack of player 3 and 4 support.” | Middle of the dessert, Iraq – The late-90’s / early 2000’s really were a much simpler time. Just on the cusp of widespread adoption of broadband Internet, and the blossoming of what would become…

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