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Infamous 1989 Soviet Game Found To Be Linked to Popular Metal Band, Killswitch Engage


“This. Is. MY. Curse.” | Lexington-Fayette – Quick: when you think of heavy metal, what comes to your mind? Dark and scary things, right? Satan, demons, death, rotting zombified corpses trying to…

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Despite Popular Belief, Ben From “Ben Drowned” Did Not Actually Drown

“You’ve encountered a particularly unfortunate destiny, haven’t you?” | Of all the Legend of Zelda games, Majora’s Mask has to be the darkest and creepiest of them all. Featuring an ill-fated Termina facing impending doom…

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Super Mario Galaxy 2’s “Hell Valley” Turns Out To Be Nothing More Than A Lake of Fire

Hell Valley Shadows

“I spent all that time pondering on a cool mystery, for THIS?” | If you’ve ever spent any time reading a “Top [X] Creepiest Easter Eggs In Video Games” list, there’s a good chance you’ve heard about the Hell Valley Sky Trees in Super Mario Galaxy 2. If not, here’s a…

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Has Super Mario Bros. 3 Led to the Downfall of Society As We Used to Know It?

Mario bros furries

“As a non-binary gender fluid wolf-trapped-in-a-human pan-sexual mocha frappuccino, I’m DEEPLY offended by this” | Somewhere between 1988 and 1991 (depending on the region of the world you live in) Super Mario Bros. 3 was…

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What if Mushrooms Don’t Make Mario Bigger, But the Surrounding World Smaller?

Mario Eats Mushrooms

“Trust me, I’ve done ‘shrooms before” | In the Mushroom Kingdom, toadstools are king. Many inhabitants are genetically modified mushrooms capable of walking, talking, and even sassing Luigi.

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Nintendo Under Fire After Fans Link Zelda Game Map to Nazism and Fortune Telling

“Let’s make Zelda great again!” | Washington, D.C. – Nintendo has recently come under fire for allegations of Nazi sympathizing, and predicting the rise of Hitler 2, err, I mean world-renowned billionaire and ex-reality show host, Donald Trump.

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Nintendo Has Glorified Vandalism For Decades, Yet We’ve Never Batted An Eye

getting rupees to destroy things

“Destroy things for money? Yeh, that’s how it works” | If Nintendo is well-known for anything, it’s surely that it caters to the casual gamer market with its family-friendly games and gimmicky systems. But despite holding reverence as a company whose products are…

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Why Link’s Name Isn’t in the Titles of Most of His Own Games

Angry Link

“No! No! No! Just call it ‘Legend of ZELDA’. That oughta piss ’em off!” | Hyrule, circa. 1985 – Nintendo is no stranger to pissing people off. Nintendo has, at least since the 80’s, consisted wholly of a sadistic group of small angry hobbits trapped in Japanese bodies, evident by such things as the Water Temple…

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Ash Ketchum Is Not Really A 10 Year Old Child

“What is he then? Like, 11?” | Kanto Region – What if I told you that a show that you grew up watching, that you swear was Pokemon, wasn’t actually Pokemon? That’s right.

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Why Cuccos Aren’t Called “Chickens” In The Legend of Zelda

Paula Dean With Link's Head Rides A KFC Double Down sandwich as a Cucco flies through the air

“Why the cluck aren’t they called chickens?!” | Kyoto, Japan – The Legend of Zelda – a series that makes no sense. The land of Hyrule is constantly grief-stricken by the same basic evil force every game, a small boy is the land’s only hope, and there’s 3 separate timelines, because Nintendo apparently doesn’t understand…

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